aru-vatar!!!

by aru, tudi, aash, rob, mip, gohan, and rach [this exchange of e-mails back in november made me want to do a blog, just so i could post it!!!] [aru] Date: Friday, November 19, 2010, 9:48 PM        okay, finally watched it...trying to figure out where the hell my brother was crying... even taking out the IMAX 3-D thing...did the alien whatevers (you know it's bad that after 3 hours an SF nut can't remember what the aliens are called or any of their names) didn't they look really phony?? like a well-done video game, but not a revolutionary cinema experience...when he's being chased by the giant forest creatures, i was like, "is this even a little scary, aashna?"  "nope."        and the plot was like "how to train your dragon" plus various indiain/african/vietnamese good, whitey bad movies, aliens, every japanese giant-robot movie ever made...and the big debate was whether the battle scenes reminded us more or "ewoks vs stormtroopers" or "jar-jar saves the planet" in episode 1.  either way...not exactly bowled over.        on the other hand, we just watched sherlock holmes 3 times in a row, and it's better every time...sorry, tudi!     [aashna]  okay  about  that jar-jar thing though  you know  where in the1 movie  where he  wins  the war  acsedently  one handed  with those  blue  enormous ball thingies                 aashna [rach]   ok, so last january when you asked, i said that i that i liked sherlock better.  i thought that you would dig it , but told you that avatar, in the theatre and in 3d, was worth it just for the "wow" factor.  avatar was spectacular on screen, but didn't have the dialogue and charisma or charm of sherlock holmes.  my opinion though.  be sweet to your brother.  everyone is touched by something!!!!! xo, rach ps. laughed my ass off with the "jar-jar" reference [aru]        yeah, you and my brother...fucking cried, jesus...i mean, sigourney weaver's avatar looked so silly, i kept expecting fucking shrek to pop out...which would have added some dignity to the proceedings...doesn't help that sam worthington apparently took american accent lessons from mel gibson...        anyhoo, yeah, i believed you, that's why i saw sherlock, though...avatar, not bad enough for people to say "don't see it," but (even given my fondness for all things victorian) a huge cultural phenomenon??  what the fuck?!?!?!       and i have to say, terminator 2-still looks SPECTACULAR 20 years later, on a TV...ditto aliens...how come those CG alien creatures are not .001 as scary as the "cheesy" puppets in aliens?  because they actually thought, well, these are pretty limited, we might actually have to put some effort into building tension and using actual cinematic techniques like lighting...       they were talking about the star wars movies in the comic shop (of course!)  and why the first three were so much better...and i was saying, the first series, george lucas was imitating kurosawa, which made his movies cool...in the second series, he was imitating himself, which made him a hack...is avatar not just an overblown parody of aliens?   (throw in a little tarzan, last of the mohicans, apocalypse now...) [gohan] Does that make me the only one on the planet who still hasn't seen it? [aru]     you are the last one-stay that way.  think aliens meets tarzan meets shrek (yes, shrek) meets apocalpse now meets dances with wolves (which i never saw, but i'm guessing...)  and watch sherlock holmes instead... [mip] I'm the other one. [aru]      oh god, i'm jealous!!!  tudi, i admit if i had seen it in IMAX 3D, i might be singing a different tune, but 83% on rotten tomatoes???  it ain't citizen kane (which might be a hair overrated anyway)      aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, coming in 2014:  avatar 2!!!!  (really, i want a cameo by shrek and buzz lightyear!!) [aru (+aash)] did  i mention totoro?  he better turn up!!! i'm losing track!  okay, the offical cameo wish list: ·         tarzan ·         shrek ·         jar jar binks ·         buzz lightyear ·         totoro ·         hawkeye from last of the mohicans ·         mobile suit gundam ·         the ewoks ·         the guy in apocalypse now who says "...a...spear...." ·         a predator ·         the macho woman from aliens (drops out of a tree, saves the day with a knife through the skull) ·         airwolf ·         any character with a mohawk from the road warrior ·         bambi ·         the incredible hulk ·         dances with wolves (i guess...never seen it) ·         jolly green giant-ho ho ho ·         the wonder twins ·         the aliens from the abyss ·         wallace and gromit -OR-gumby ·         michael biehn's character from the abyss (big moustache!!) ·         bugs bunny (aashna:  "it would have been funny, when they were cutting down the tree, if he leaned against it and said 'what's up doc?'" ·         aashna says: "tudi should be the bad guy and pepper spray should shoot out of his eyes..." [gohan] ·         Voltron ·         Speed Racer or any relative ·         BJ and/or the Bear ·         Ponch or John ·         "CHIM CHIM" - totally!!!!! [aru] VOLTRON!!!!   i was just telling aashna about my watch which-i'm not making this up-turned into voltron...so awesome!!!

[tudi]
Um,..........

·         Yul brenner in Underworld

·         Danny bonaduce

·         Um, millli and vanilli

·         Cobra Commander

·         She-Ra

·         Freddie Prinze (Sr.)

·         Uh, Reverend Billy G

·         Frankenfurter

·         Buddha

·         Jesus onna Stick

·         Red Peanut M&M

·         Doug and Wendy Whiner

·         Jane (the ignorant sl*t)

·         John Henry Bonham

·         Mr. Yuk (ha! Thats a good one!)

·         Rock-em-sock-em Robots

·         "you got your chocolate in my peanut butter" guy

·         Dumbo
This partial list is brought to you by:
The number 3, and the letter M

[aru]

okay, back in the early 90's when we both had long hair, and people called us milli vanilli (rach, you remember that notepad i found in the closet??) (and i would tell them all to go to hell)..tell the truth, deep down inside, you thought you were milli, right?  i know i did...

[tudi]

I thought i was the COOL one. Which one was that?

[aru]

that was MILLI, dumb@$$...come on!!!!

why the hell are you still awake?  don't you have to get up at the crack of dawn to fight crime???

[tudi]

You cant say @$$ ! This is PG-7 ! Also, i work 6pm to 6am.

[aru]

      wait, you're WORKING right now?  you have a computer in your patrol cart???  (that's not a typo, y'all)  yuka wants to know what you're doing right now...are you in the sherriff (2 r's?  2 f's?)  office?  are you "circling around?"  how's hot pursuit work with the cart??  yuka wants to know if it's cold.

[rach]

aidan is wondering why "ALF" didn't make either of your lists.............

[aru]

alf is a little to sophisticated to be in avatar 2...seriously, though...jabberjaw or the sleestaks from land of the lost really would fit the tone of avatar better than alf or hal 9000...the most expensive hanna-barbera cartoon ever made??

[tudi]

     Ok. I have a list , also, of peeps/things i would like to share:
Items/things/people i would like to goto Berkeley and pound/sit on aru's head-

-H.R. Puff-n-Stuff
-the water buffalo from Apocalypse Now
-a meercat (Blossom)
-a fart
-Marvin the Martian's dog
-Milo and Otis
-a Wild Thing
-Gleep (blue monkey)
-Hannah and Tony Montana
-George of the Jungle (Brendan Fraser, not the cartoonie one)
-Chester Cheetah
-Malibu Barbie
-Stewie
-Mr. Clean
-Billy Mayes
-Lurch ("youuuuuuuu raaaanng")
-Oprah
-Richard Simmons
-Dobby (house elf)
-Aslan
-Tonto
-Bruiser (the chihuahua from Legally Blonde)
-Willow (the MIDGET)
-fat man/little boy
-Mr T.
-PepperAnn
-a pet rock
-a cabbage patch doll
-any Disney princess (Cinderella, Ariel, Jasmine, Snow White, Sleepy Beauty, Mulan, etc...)
-Sally Jessie Raphael
-a tribble
-Snap, Krackle, and Pop
-Boo-Berry
-Ignatz
-Howdy Doody
-Dorothy Wrigley (hahaha)
-Captain Jack Sparrow
-Captain Kangaroo
-Captain and Tenille
-Captain Pike
-Captain Crunch
-The Blob
-Cary Grant
-Clinton Kelly
-Mike Holmes
-John Holmes
-Mr. Magoo
-Tennesee Tuxedo
-Speedy Gonzales (my wife says "that fast rat..")
-Huckleberry HOUND
-Rambo
-Fat Albert
-Tinkerbell
-Jiminy Cricket
-mom's stufffed bellpeppers
-Dora the Explora
-Where's Waldo
Clifford the Big Red Dog
-Mr. Rogers
-Charlie Brown
-a Care Bear
-a My Little Pony
-Magic Rocks
-Ronald McDonald
-Elmo singing "Elmo's World"
-Uncle Mano
-the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man
-Creulla DeVil
-Mrs. Cole the pie-anna teacher
-Booboo Bear
-Baloo
-Smokey the Bear
-BrownBear and BernardBear
-The 3 Bears & Goldilocks
-Ernie&Bert (everyone else calls them BertnErnie)
-Snuffalupagus
-Donkey
-why did Tigger look into the toilet?
-Grape Ape
-Aashna the heroin (sp?) with lavender-scented soap bubbles emitting from her ears
-any moron who is/has been called any of the following: "Ip", "Aaney (ah-knee), "orangutang"

[aru]

wait...is deputy dawg NOT on your list?!?!?!  (i'm too lazy to go back and check)

plus the look on yuka's face as she's reading these e-mails...

 

[gohan]

Hanna and Tony Montana was truly brilliant.

[rach] 

I have to agree! The whole list was inspired!  One thing, wasn't "Willow”  a dwarf? Here, in the overly sensitive/politically correct Bay Area, we know the difference!!!
Thanks for making me laugh,

Rachael

[tudi]

thought Aru might not think that list wuz humourous, i meant to include Lion-O and Snarf and some Smurfs Smurfing his Smurf! I capitalizd "MIDGET" cuz i knew some pc, liberal, sanctimonius, 'Californian' would correct me. Only i expected them to be related to me (incl. Lil' Arunan). All shorties, in The South, are Midgets. Some examples would be:

·         Bridgette The Midgette (my fave)

·         Willow

·         Danny DeVito

·          George Burns

·          Aashna, etc

     Why is it i am not asleep?  The only 'dwarves' are 7 in quantity, found somewharz in outer space (thats whar they took Bubba ! (for his Proctological exam)), OR sometimes rassellers (wrestlers).   I find it particularly challenging to respond, using only PG-7 language, for the newest member of the Arunan-Reply-All List (who may OR may not actually be 8).   Also, thanks, on the Montanas, my wife did not get it.